Personal....

Holy cow, I am a slacker!  I don't even wanna tell you how long it's been since I posted.

Where do I begin?  A few weeks ago I was officially diagnosed with Poly-Cystic-Ovaries-Syndrome aka PCOS.  The news, while expected, was devastating.  It means that while I do have a chance of being able to have children, it will be a difficult process.

While having my ultrasound to determine PCOS, they found out I also had a wall in my uterus.  Which meant that if I were to get pregnant, I would miscarry, and risk killing myself as well if it ruptured.  So I went in for surgery last week to get everything taken care of.

After the surgery (I was out of it, so the doctor talked to my parents & Nick) the doctor seemed very optimistic about my chances of getting pregnant.  Expecting to wake up with one incision and waking up with four was shocking.  While he was cutting out the wall, he found a huge cyst in my ovary and ended up needing the other doctor to help him burn open an Ovary and get it out.  They also found a staple lodged in one of my ovaries, that apparently fell out after my gall bladder surgery a few years ago.

The new information the doctor gave me, is very nerve racking but VERY exciting.  I should be able to start on some fertility medications soon, and hopefully make my dream of being a mommy come true :)

I go in for my post-op next week, where he will tell me what needs to happen, and what my chances are at this point. So, please, cross your fingers for me :)

He had me from hello ♥

This past week, Nicholas and I celebrated our third anniversary.  He has made me sooo happy the last few years.  It's already been one heckuva ride, I can't wait to see what the rest of eternity has in store for us.

Last night we had the opportunity to see our best friend, Jake, perform improv at quick wits, while we were there they did a game called human prop, they called up a guy out of the audience, and Jake said "we have a LOT of guys on the team, bring his lady friend up too" so they both came up, and long story short they used her as a music box, Jake said "this is a WAY better box" and the boy got on one knee and proposed.  It was such a beautiful ceremony.  It reminded me of when Nick proposed to me.  I am pretty sure I have shared it here before, but I am scared if I don't document it, I will forget the details. So here it is:

We met on my 20th birthday (June 28th), Started dating on July 4th, and moved extremely fast and went through a lot the first 3 weeks we were together (My cousin passed away unexpectedly, and his Grandpa succumbed to multiple illnesses within 3 days of eachother.  We knew once we made it through that, that it was meant to be.  On November 15th he texted me and asked if I wanted to go for a drive.  I was a brat and said "nah, just come over and we will watch a movie"  my mom kept saying he probably just wants to go tell you how much he loves you, you should spend some time alone with him to make sure you feel the same.  I kept saying "Can't he tell me how much he loves me in front of the fire, so I can stay in my jammies?" again, I'm a BRAT!  So he came and picked me up, and we hiked up the mini mountain/ hill we went to on our first date.  We got to the top and he sat on a rock and handed me a note.  The note listed everything he loved about me, and that he loved me more than anything on this earth (I hope I still have that letter somewhere :|) and the final paragraph said "since this is where we started our Journey, I figure this should be where we take the next step, Check your cell phone" so I looked at my phone (there was about 30 messages, and it froze so we waited for it to restart. I got it to work and read a few messages. they mostly said "say yes".  I got HUGE butterflies in my tummy, and looked up at him. He was on one knee with tears in his eyes and said " I love you sooo much, will you be my wife?"  I couldn't stop kissing him and crying.  I don't think I officially told him yes until we were in the car on the way home.  I am sooo blessed to be his wife and have never ONCE regretted that decision ♥

I'm not a princess, this ain't a fairytale...

Life is flying right on by.  I feel like I am drowning.  Juggling work, school, house work, Christmas, trying to spend time with my husband.  It's too much for me. Nick and I had discussed the possibility of moving into an apartment or in with one of our parents so I could quit my job and kick schools butt this next year.  The more we thought about it, the sadder we got.  We love our house, we absolutely LOVE the people in our ward.  And lastly, we have Gilly.  He is like a child to us, and we would be devestated to lose him (most apartments won't allow a pitbull, and our parents definitely wouldn't).  As I was drowning in what I though was anxiety (it runs in my family), I said a little prayer to Heavenly Father, I needed help, I couldn't do this alone.  WE couldn't do this alone.  We went to the temple and prayed about it, and we both got the same answer "You are where you need to be right now."  Okay.... SO now what? That was kind of the answer we wanted, but what do we do about my "anxiety" which was now causing some MAJOR health issues.  That same day, my sister was telling me how amazing her Dr. out in Herriman has been, and if I ever need to see a Doctor I should try him.  So I went and met with my new doctor and told him what was going on.  He asked me several questions, and gave me a diagnosis that I was NOT ready for, and didn't believe was true for weeks.  I have depression.  The more I think about it the more it makes sense.  He gave me Celexa (SP) and told me that I need to be better about opening up, and telling people how I feel.  Celexa has honestly changed my life.  I am happier than I have ever been.  It has helped me realize that I was under a black cloud for years, just putting on a happy face, because when people asked what was wrong, I didn't know the answer.

The point of this blog post is NOT to get sympathy.  It is actually really embarrassing for me to share this with you, but it is to point out that my husband was willing to leave the house he bought for us, and everything he has put into it, and move into somebodies basement, to make me happy.  If that is not true love, I have no idea what is.  He was looking up apartments the day I finally told him what was going on. (it took MONTHS) he was ready to list the house, and just leave with me, without looking back.  I am so grateful for this.  Part of me needed someone to tell me that it was going to be okay, and we would do whatever we needed to make it work for us.  The other part of me needed something more, so I called my parents.  They said I needed to get on a medication and take a deep breath, that it was a horrible idea to move, and that if I felt the same way after a year of medication, then we could move in their basement.  The other part of me DEFINITELY needed to hear that.  It's wonderful that I have a husband who agrees with everything I say or do.  But it is equally wonderful to have great parents who aren't scared to tell me I've gone off the deep end.

Times flyin by, moving so fast. Better make it count cause you can't get it back ♥

Its November! Where has the time gone? This year has been one of the most challengingly awesome ones so far.  I decided VERY last minute that I wanted to go back to school this fall.  And after MUCH praying and reading the scriptures I KNEW what I wanted to do.  So I started my associates degree in Elementary Education.  My goal is to have my Bachelors degree my the time I'm thirty. (I know that is 6.5 years away, but I AM working full time as well.) Thus the challenging part.  The awesome part? I could go on for days!  I have the most wonderful family and friends in the world.  I dont know HOW I got so blessed, but I thank God every single day for the greatness in my life. 

Just a brief overview of what has been going on lately, and some funny things:
Our ward is getting ready for our primary program.  As we were practicing Sunday, one of my cute lil 4 year olds comes up to me and says "You know how sometimes when grandma's get old, like you, they die? Mine did" haha it was a bittersweet moment of "how old do you think I am?!" and "Im so sorry to hear that".  I love my calling. It is definitely where I am supposed to be right now.

School.  Its school. haha. It has been a HUGE transition for me, because I never wanted to go back to school, I was going to be a stay at home mom if it killed me!  I have been very blessed with wonderful teacher, and made some pretty awesome friends in my classes.

Work.  I am still at Wamsley and Associates, and I absolutely love it.  I have my moments, as with any job, that I want to throw in the towel and go back to bed.  But I have such a wonderful boss.  He is so understanding and friendly.

Marriage.  As usual, this is fabulous.  He is my biggest cheerleader, and he is always there for me.  He has NEVER doubted my ability to get through school and do whatever I set my mind to.  I don't know what I ever did without him, and I pray that I never have to find out how to live without him again.

I have the greatest family EVER.  I got the opportunity to babysit my sweet nephew, Noah the other night.  He is such a cutie.  He could get away with murder.  We were wrestling and he was laughing SOOO hard.  Then we cuddled and watched Barney for a few minutes, then got ready for bed and read a book with some warm milk.  This kid makes me sooo excited to be a mom someday.  Rachy is a wonderful mom, and a great example of what I want to be IF I ever grow up ;)

Just another day in paradise.

Have you ever heard the additive "this too shall pass"  I find myself using it too frequently, wishing away what seem to be small moments, only realizing how big they were when they have passed. I need to be better at living in the moment, and not be so busy planning the next moment that I can't enjoy this one.  So from now on, I will enjoy every moment.  I know I will still have my "this too shall pass" days, but I will try to see the positive more often.  My cute daddy taught me a better way to look at it.  We went to lunch last week and I was having a REALLY bad day, he hugged me, kissed my cheek, and said "think of it this way, baby girl, you can do anything for one day. Just one day. Take it one day at a time."  It makes things sooo much easier when you can divide it into smaller chunks, or days.  It gives you a light at the end of the tunnel.  When work seems too much, just think, I can do anything for one day!

On another note, I was teaching my four year olds about prayer in primary, and I asked them "Can I only pray in the morning and at night?" They all shrugged for a second, then one of them said " No, you can pray anytime you're scared" another said "He's always listening" I asked "can I text him"  One child said "His phone number is PRAYER, Sister Randi!"  I love how much these kids teach me on a weekly basis. It truly is incredible.

I start school this week, and I am terrified.  I am not a school person.  I get intimidated very easily, and tend to quit when I get nervous.  But not this time.  I am out to prove to myself, and my family and friends, that I can make something of myself.  That I will graduate with my Bachelors degree, and show everyone that I can do anything I set my mind to.  So say a little prayer for me as I head off on this journey.

Slacking!

I am such a slacker! Truth is, I dont have that much excitement in my life to blog about!  Well I do have some excitement, but most of it is private, and nobodies business :) I recently celebrated one year at my job.  I love it. I am excited about going to work (Most days) i love having bosses with my same standards.  My boss frequently tells me "If you ever need a temple day, just let me know!" He's a great man and VERY patient!  Nick and I have been married about 2 and a half years, and couldn't be happier.  Gilly is almost three (yes we had a puppy out of wedlock, please, dont tell the bishop!) and is CUTER than ever!  Other than that we are pretty boring.  We are looking into buying my parents rental house in the next year or so. Its a lot bigger, and in a much nicer area for us to start our family in.  We spend alot of time with our best friend, Jake.  He is such a sweetheart, and hilarious.  We love him to death.  I've also been spending alot of time with Rachel and Noah, which has been BLISS.  I love my big seester sooo much.  And I love that Noah says "Wee- neee" Everytime he see's me. He is my lil angel... I dont think I could love even my own kids as much as I love that lil monkey :)

We had a nice vacation with my family at pineview reservoir over the 4th of July this year.  We had an unexpected last minute guest, My grandpa!  At first we were all a little bit hesitant as to how it would go.  But honestly, it was a BLAST.  He was alot of fun, and when he saw the fireworks and the parade, he looked like a little boy.  I have loved spending tons of time with my family and getting to know my Grandpa a little bit better.

We are working on remodeling as much of the house as possible in order to sale it for decent price.  So I probably wont blog for a while, I know you'll miss me ;)

Happy Mothers Day!!!

Since its almost mothers day, I thought I would post about the wonderful mothers in my life....

First of all my beautiful mommy: You are my best friend, my shoulder to cry on, and the person that keeps my world going.  I dont know what I would do without you, mom. Thank you for teaching me responsibility, and most importantly, loving people no matter what.  You taught me to be the bigger person, to keep my standards high, and to always remember who I am, and where I came from.  You are seriously the most incredible person I have EVER met. You always know when to call or text me. You are one of the only people in the world I feel like I can talk to about anything.  Thank you so much for all you have/continue to teach me! Love you, Rosa ;)

Next, My mother in-law, Carolyn:  You have always been there for Nick and I.  You are always there when I need to vent (you lived with him for 19 years, so you know what I go through ;)) Just kidding, you raised a WONDERFUL man, and I am eternally grateful for you for teaching him respect, and hard work. Love you!!

My big sister, Rachel: You are an incredible mom! You never cease to amaze me.  I look at you with Noah and PRAY that I can be half the mom you are someday!  Noah is VERY lucky to have you as his mom, you are beautiful, and an incredible example to me. You are my best friend, and my sister. The best of both worlds. I love you!

My big sister, Char:  You are such a cute little mommy!  Jarron and Kennedi are both very lucky to have you, and I am so grateful that you are my big sister. Thank you for all the talks, and laughs. Thanks for always being there for me. I love your guts!!

My big sister, Angie: You are such an awesome mom.  You got handed a very difficult hand, butyou handle being a single mom so well.  You are such a great example to me on how to keep going when it seems like you have hit the bottom.  You are so strong, I know you realize this now.  You are one of my favorite people in the whole world.  Elliot is so blessed to have you as his mommy, and I am so grateful to have you as my sister.  Just remember, with the gospel, and family, you can make it through anything. I'm always here for you, and I love you!!

My big sister, Janessa:  I am SOOOO excited that you are having a girl! I can't wait to spoil her rotten!  You guys have done so well with Xander, he is turning into an incredible little boy.  You are soo great with him and Elliot.  You are a wonderful mom, and are so dedicated to that little boy of yours.  I cant wait to meet Jadus (Spelling?) she's gonna be beautiful (just like you!) I love you very much!!