I'm not a princess, this ain't a fairytale...

Life is flying right on by.  I feel like I am drowning.  Juggling work, school, house work, Christmas, trying to spend time with my husband.  It's too much for me. Nick and I had discussed the possibility of moving into an apartment or in with one of our parents so I could quit my job and kick schools butt this next year.  The more we thought about it, the sadder we got.  We love our house, we absolutely LOVE the people in our ward.  And lastly, we have Gilly.  He is like a child to us, and we would be devestated to lose him (most apartments won't allow a pitbull, and our parents definitely wouldn't).  As I was drowning in what I though was anxiety (it runs in my family), I said a little prayer to Heavenly Father, I needed help, I couldn't do this alone.  WE couldn't do this alone.  We went to the temple and prayed about it, and we both got the same answer "You are where you need to be right now."  Okay.... SO now what? That was kind of the answer we wanted, but what do we do about my "anxiety" which was now causing some MAJOR health issues.  That same day, my sister was telling me how amazing her Dr. out in Herriman has been, and if I ever need to see a Doctor I should try him.  So I went and met with my new doctor and told him what was going on.  He asked me several questions, and gave me a diagnosis that I was NOT ready for, and didn't believe was true for weeks.  I have depression.  The more I think about it the more it makes sense.  He gave me Celexa (SP) and told me that I need to be better about opening up, and telling people how I feel.  Celexa has honestly changed my life.  I am happier than I have ever been.  It has helped me realize that I was under a black cloud for years, just putting on a happy face, because when people asked what was wrong, I didn't know the answer.

The point of this blog post is NOT to get sympathy.  It is actually really embarrassing for me to share this with you, but it is to point out that my husband was willing to leave the house he bought for us, and everything he has put into it, and move into somebodies basement, to make me happy.  If that is not true love, I have no idea what is.  He was looking up apartments the day I finally told him what was going on. (it took MONTHS) he was ready to list the house, and just leave with me, without looking back.  I am so grateful for this.  Part of me needed someone to tell me that it was going to be okay, and we would do whatever we needed to make it work for us.  The other part of me needed something more, so I called my parents.  They said I needed to get on a medication and take a deep breath, that it was a horrible idea to move, and that if I felt the same way after a year of medication, then we could move in their basement.  The other part of me DEFINITELY needed to hear that.  It's wonderful that I have a husband who agrees with everything I say or do.  But it is equally wonderful to have great parents who aren't scared to tell me I've gone off the deep end.