I'm not a princess, this ain't a fairytale...

Life is flying right on by.  I feel like I am drowning.  Juggling work, school, house work, Christmas, trying to spend time with my husband.  It's too much for me. Nick and I had discussed the possibility of moving into an apartment or in with one of our parents so I could quit my job and kick schools butt this next year.  The more we thought about it, the sadder we got.  We love our house, we absolutely LOVE the people in our ward.  And lastly, we have Gilly.  He is like a child to us, and we would be devestated to lose him (most apartments won't allow a pitbull, and our parents definitely wouldn't).  As I was drowning in what I though was anxiety (it runs in my family), I said a little prayer to Heavenly Father, I needed help, I couldn't do this alone.  WE couldn't do this alone.  We went to the temple and prayed about it, and we both got the same answer "You are where you need to be right now."  Okay.... SO now what? That was kind of the answer we wanted, but what do we do about my "anxiety" which was now causing some MAJOR health issues.  That same day, my sister was telling me how amazing her Dr. out in Herriman has been, and if I ever need to see a Doctor I should try him.  So I went and met with my new doctor and told him what was going on.  He asked me several questions, and gave me a diagnosis that I was NOT ready for, and didn't believe was true for weeks.  I have depression.  The more I think about it the more it makes sense.  He gave me Celexa (SP) and told me that I need to be better about opening up, and telling people how I feel.  Celexa has honestly changed my life.  I am happier than I have ever been.  It has helped me realize that I was under a black cloud for years, just putting on a happy face, because when people asked what was wrong, I didn't know the answer.

The point of this blog post is NOT to get sympathy.  It is actually really embarrassing for me to share this with you, but it is to point out that my husband was willing to leave the house he bought for us, and everything he has put into it, and move into somebodies basement, to make me happy.  If that is not true love, I have no idea what is.  He was looking up apartments the day I finally told him what was going on. (it took MONTHS) he was ready to list the house, and just leave with me, without looking back.  I am so grateful for this.  Part of me needed someone to tell me that it was going to be okay, and we would do whatever we needed to make it work for us.  The other part of me needed something more, so I called my parents.  They said I needed to get on a medication and take a deep breath, that it was a horrible idea to move, and that if I felt the same way after a year of medication, then we could move in their basement.  The other part of me DEFINITELY needed to hear that.  It's wonderful that I have a husband who agrees with everything I say or do.  But it is equally wonderful to have great parents who aren't scared to tell me I've gone off the deep end.

Times flyin by, moving so fast. Better make it count cause you can't get it back ♥

Its November! Where has the time gone? This year has been one of the most challengingly awesome ones so far.  I decided VERY last minute that I wanted to go back to school this fall.  And after MUCH praying and reading the scriptures I KNEW what I wanted to do.  So I started my associates degree in Elementary Education.  My goal is to have my Bachelors degree my the time I'm thirty. (I know that is 6.5 years away, but I AM working full time as well.) Thus the challenging part.  The awesome part? I could go on for days!  I have the most wonderful family and friends in the world.  I dont know HOW I got so blessed, but I thank God every single day for the greatness in my life. 

Just a brief overview of what has been going on lately, and some funny things:
Our ward is getting ready for our primary program.  As we were practicing Sunday, one of my cute lil 4 year olds comes up to me and says "You know how sometimes when grandma's get old, like you, they die? Mine did" haha it was a bittersweet moment of "how old do you think I am?!" and "Im so sorry to hear that".  I love my calling. It is definitely where I am supposed to be right now.

School.  Its school. haha. It has been a HUGE transition for me, because I never wanted to go back to school, I was going to be a stay at home mom if it killed me!  I have been very blessed with wonderful teacher, and made some pretty awesome friends in my classes.

Work.  I am still at Wamsley and Associates, and I absolutely love it.  I have my moments, as with any job, that I want to throw in the towel and go back to bed.  But I have such a wonderful boss.  He is so understanding and friendly.

Marriage.  As usual, this is fabulous.  He is my biggest cheerleader, and he is always there for me.  He has NEVER doubted my ability to get through school and do whatever I set my mind to.  I don't know what I ever did without him, and I pray that I never have to find out how to live without him again.

I have the greatest family EVER.  I got the opportunity to babysit my sweet nephew, Noah the other night.  He is such a cutie.  He could get away with murder.  We were wrestling and he was laughing SOOO hard.  Then we cuddled and watched Barney for a few minutes, then got ready for bed and read a book with some warm milk.  This kid makes me sooo excited to be a mom someday.  Rachy is a wonderful mom, and a great example of what I want to be IF I ever grow up ;)

Just another day in paradise.

Have you ever heard the additive "this too shall pass"  I find myself using it too frequently, wishing away what seem to be small moments, only realizing how big they were when they have passed. I need to be better at living in the moment, and not be so busy planning the next moment that I can't enjoy this one.  So from now on, I will enjoy every moment.  I know I will still have my "this too shall pass" days, but I will try to see the positive more often.  My cute daddy taught me a better way to look at it.  We went to lunch last week and I was having a REALLY bad day, he hugged me, kissed my cheek, and said "think of it this way, baby girl, you can do anything for one day. Just one day. Take it one day at a time."  It makes things sooo much easier when you can divide it into smaller chunks, or days.  It gives you a light at the end of the tunnel.  When work seems too much, just think, I can do anything for one day!

On another note, I was teaching my four year olds about prayer in primary, and I asked them "Can I only pray in the morning and at night?" They all shrugged for a second, then one of them said " No, you can pray anytime you're scared" another said "He's always listening" I asked "can I text him"  One child said "His phone number is PRAYER, Sister Randi!"  I love how much these kids teach me on a weekly basis. It truly is incredible.

I start school this week, and I am terrified.  I am not a school person.  I get intimidated very easily, and tend to quit when I get nervous.  But not this time.  I am out to prove to myself, and my family and friends, that I can make something of myself.  That I will graduate with my Bachelors degree, and show everyone that I can do anything I set my mind to.  So say a little prayer for me as I head off on this journey.

Slacking!

I am such a slacker! Truth is, I dont have that much excitement in my life to blog about!  Well I do have some excitement, but most of it is private, and nobodies business :) I recently celebrated one year at my job.  I love it. I am excited about going to work (Most days) i love having bosses with my same standards.  My boss frequently tells me "If you ever need a temple day, just let me know!" He's a great man and VERY patient!  Nick and I have been married about 2 and a half years, and couldn't be happier.  Gilly is almost three (yes we had a puppy out of wedlock, please, dont tell the bishop!) and is CUTER than ever!  Other than that we are pretty boring.  We are looking into buying my parents rental house in the next year or so. Its a lot bigger, and in a much nicer area for us to start our family in.  We spend alot of time with our best friend, Jake.  He is such a sweetheart, and hilarious.  We love him to death.  I've also been spending alot of time with Rachel and Noah, which has been BLISS.  I love my big seester sooo much.  And I love that Noah says "Wee- neee" Everytime he see's me. He is my lil angel... I dont think I could love even my own kids as much as I love that lil monkey :)

We had a nice vacation with my family at pineview reservoir over the 4th of July this year.  We had an unexpected last minute guest, My grandpa!  At first we were all a little bit hesitant as to how it would go.  But honestly, it was a BLAST.  He was alot of fun, and when he saw the fireworks and the parade, he looked like a little boy.  I have loved spending tons of time with my family and getting to know my Grandpa a little bit better.

We are working on remodeling as much of the house as possible in order to sale it for decent price.  So I probably wont blog for a while, I know you'll miss me ;)

Happy Mothers Day!!!

Since its almost mothers day, I thought I would post about the wonderful mothers in my life....

First of all my beautiful mommy: You are my best friend, my shoulder to cry on, and the person that keeps my world going.  I dont know what I would do without you, mom. Thank you for teaching me responsibility, and most importantly, loving people no matter what.  You taught me to be the bigger person, to keep my standards high, and to always remember who I am, and where I came from.  You are seriously the most incredible person I have EVER met. You always know when to call or text me. You are one of the only people in the world I feel like I can talk to about anything.  Thank you so much for all you have/continue to teach me! Love you, Rosa ;)

Next, My mother in-law, Carolyn:  You have always been there for Nick and I.  You are always there when I need to vent (you lived with him for 19 years, so you know what I go through ;)) Just kidding, you raised a WONDERFUL man, and I am eternally grateful for you for teaching him respect, and hard work. Love you!!

My big sister, Rachel: You are an incredible mom! You never cease to amaze me.  I look at you with Noah and PRAY that I can be half the mom you are someday!  Noah is VERY lucky to have you as his mom, you are beautiful, and an incredible example to me. You are my best friend, and my sister. The best of both worlds. I love you!

My big sister, Char:  You are such a cute little mommy!  Jarron and Kennedi are both very lucky to have you, and I am so grateful that you are my big sister. Thank you for all the talks, and laughs. Thanks for always being there for me. I love your guts!!

My big sister, Angie: You are such an awesome mom.  You got handed a very difficult hand, butyou handle being a single mom so well.  You are such a great example to me on how to keep going when it seems like you have hit the bottom.  You are so strong, I know you realize this now.  You are one of my favorite people in the whole world.  Elliot is so blessed to have you as his mommy, and I am so grateful to have you as my sister.  Just remember, with the gospel, and family, you can make it through anything. I'm always here for you, and I love you!!

My big sister, Janessa:  I am SOOOO excited that you are having a girl! I can't wait to spoil her rotten!  You guys have done so well with Xander, he is turning into an incredible little boy.  You are soo great with him and Elliot.  You are a wonderful mom, and are so dedicated to that little boy of yours.  I cant wait to meet Jadus (Spelling?) she's gonna be beautiful (just like you!) I love you very much!!

Two years....

Just over two years ago, I knelt across the altar, and was sealed to my wonderful husband for time and all eternity. We've hit some bumps in the road, but made it through holding hands. I love that man more than anything in this whole world. He is my rock. I cant imagine my life without him. 2 years down, a million more to go ♥

Where there is no struggle, there is no strength

Have you ever seen my mom and superman in the same room? Me either. This weekend I realized the millionth reason why I KNOW my mom is superWOman.  Her mother, my grandma Carol passed away last Thursday. SO my beautiful mother put together an incredible funeral, complete with a musical number by all 12 grandchildren that she managed to get other the same roof at the same time (We have some from Vegas, Washington, and all over Utah) She barely shed a single tear, and just pretty much held everybody else together.  She has taken care of my beautiful grandmother for over 40 years. Being by her side through everything, whether it was convenient for her or not.  She held her hand at the hospital as she was dying. That is true bravery. Facing a problem rather than hiding in the corner.  She is my example of strength. Just holding those around her up with a smile on her face.  I love this woman more than she'll ever realize.  Now she gets to take on the responsibility of helping my cute little grandpa keep it together until he can do it himself.

On another note, I worry about my Grandpa so much. What do you tell a 66 year old man to do all day when all he ever knew was caring for his wife? He is just so loving. Ever since she died last Thursday he has come to my moms several times to see if we need anything.  I am so grateful for the knowledge we have, that my grandma is waiting for us, and we WILL see her again someday.  What a beautiful funeral today for such a beautiful woman.

A little note to my Grandma:

I know we didn't have the closest relationship in the world.  But I hope you realize how much you meant to me and how much I loved you.  Please watch over Grandpa and my mom especially. They need you. I promise to take care of them for you, and we will all be up there before you know it.  And make sure you teach my future babies everything you know before you send them down to me. Take care of them and love them for me, because they need to know they have a great grandma as their guardian angel.  I will always be your Panda Bear. See you soon. I love you so much ♥

Colorado

Nick and I had the opportunity to go see a Colorado Avalanche game this past weekend. It was a great game, despite them losing in overtime. We also had the opportunity to go visit my Aunt and Uncle while we were there. They spoiled us rotten. We sure wish they lived closer to us. This past Tuesday was my beautiful mommy's birthday. So last night we went to dinner and told stories about her and about our childhood. Man I am so blessed with my family. A few of the highlights (inside jokes) "I forgot there were stairs"
Brandon"Who's that" Rachel "Jesus Christ" Mom back hands Rachel thinking shes swearing. "Jarron dont climb on that fence/cathouse/anything" "I dare you to hit me" Mom: Randi Clean your room Me: No Mom: Excuse me? Me: I said No. Mom: You're gonna get in trouble. Me: We'll see about that. Mom: We'll see about what? Me: When MY daddy gets home, he'll clean it for me. Mom: Rolls Eyes. Dad: Comes home and cleans my room :) We had such a fun childhood. I wouldnt trade it or my family for the world.

take my hand, together we can do it im gonna love you through it..

So I have a new favorite song. It talks about a woman with breast cancer and her husband is so sweet and supportive. My favorite line is when she says I cant handle it anymore the song says then he took her in his arms and said that's what my love is for cause when you're weak I'll be strong when you let go I 'll hold on when you need to cry I swear that I 'll be there to dry your eyes. when you feel lost and scared to death like you cant take one more step, just take my hand together we can do it. I'm gonna love you through it. This song reminds me of my sweet husband. He is always there for me. He is my rock and he holds my world together. I love you so.much, baby! I couldn't have asked for a better eternal sweetheart!!!

"Whatever our calling, regardless of our fears or anxieties, let us pray and then go and do!"

About 2 months ago I was called in to teach the Valiant 9 class in my wards primary. I thought easy, no sweat. They are young, and will hang on every word. Which is mostly true, however I have learned so much from these sweet kids. One of the most important lessons I have learned is patience. I remember talking to Nick after being called, my only worries were patience, and my anxiety. I got called in to be set apart for this new adventure and the first words of his blessing were "Sister Weight, we bless you with the courage and patience to teach the Lords children" I was absolutely breathless. I knew I needed this, but how did Brother Fil know? It was incredible. Then Nick got set apart as the Sunday School Secretary, in his blessing they told him to love and cherish his wife. So needless to say almost every day since than I tell him to get me a drink or a snack or something and end with "Bishop says to cherish me so you better do it or im telling" Yes im a 5 year old at heart. dont hate. It doesn't work anymore anyway :)

Life is pretty much the same around here. I work full time. Nick works full time and goes to school whenever he's not at work. I miss him. haha.

We are remodeling our kitchen now that the basement is finished. First thing to go? The nasty linoleum. Nicks Dad and Jake have been such troopers helping with EVERYTHING. And I am so proud of my cute hubby for all of his hard work and willingness to learn. We have most of the cement board down now, just a few more pieces than we get to lay out the tile. I love that our house is slowly becoming a home.

We have been going to the temple alot more lately. And it has made me realize how blessed I am. I am sealed to my best friend and the love of my life FOREVER. I cant even imagine life without him. He is my rock. And I cant wait to start a family with him, and grow old and gray together. ♥

Count your blessings, name them one by one....

So as you can tell from my previous posts, I am trying to be more spiritual this year. If your not religious, you can stop reading, but I will be posting more spiritual things on here. I have been thinking about how blessed I am lately. I have a house, a car, 2 dogs, a job. I have clean sheets to sleep on. A washer and a dryer to keep my clothes clean and dry. I have a garage to keep my car clean and dry. I have a roof over my head to keep that warm and dry. I have an incredible husband, who, for some odd reason, loves me even more on my bad days. Its the little things in life I take for Granted. I just figure, the house just happened, the washer and dryer just happened. No. Our jobs helped us pay for those things. Without our jobs (which we tend to complain about) We would not have the so called luxury of owning a home. I complain about cleaning and doing laundry constantly. There are people living on the streets in rags, and im complaining cause the house gets too warm when I have the oven and the stove on at the same time. Rough life, right? I am sooo grateful for my blessings. I definitely dont deserve most of them. I have decided to put things in that perspective for the rest of the year! Yeah housework sucks, so does yardwork, but it means I have a house and a yard, which not many people have. I am blessed beyond measure. I hate that I take these things for granted so much. Where would I be without them? I am also thankful for my best friends. First there is Rach who I can call anytime, anywhere, I can vent to her, cry to her, yell at her. But no matter what we will always be best friends. I love you seester. Then there is Jaynee, she is my sanity, and one of the most incredible people I've ever met in my life. She hasnt had the easiest life, but her chin is always up, and she is always more worried about you than herself. She always knows when to text me, or message me on MSN when im having a bad day. She always knows the right words to say. She has helped me more than she realizes. Love you Woman!

New Years Resolutions

I decided to post my New Years Resolutions on here so that MAYBE I will accomplish something ;)

*Attend the temple AT LEAST once a month
*Eat more Vegetable
*Attend Church Weekly
*Put more effort into my callings
*Do my hair everyday (NO PONY TAILS)
*Do my makeup everyday
*Keep my house CLEAN (This one is one I will for sure struggle with)
*Pay my tithing on time every month
*Make enough money with my pampered chef career that I can quit my job and be a stay at home mom and just do pampered chef 2-3 nights a week.
*Eat Healthier, dont eato our so much
*Be Patient
*Stop Swearing
*Be more sympathetic
*Be an example, Be someone people WANT to look up to.

There are a few more, but they are more personal ones, I will let you know if they get fulfilled by the end of the year!